Parenting Styles and Emotional Intelligence as Correlates to Marital Delay among Adult Females

Parenting Styles and Emotional Intelligence as Correlates to Marital Delay among Adult Females

This study will aim to investigate how parenting styles and emotional intelligence relate to marital delay among adult females in Emohua local government area of River State

CHAPTER ONE

• Background to the study

The marital delay means the state of someone to put off to a later time in getting married. In the world today one of the prevalent problems among youths especially females is that of marital delays. It has become a global phenomenon that gives, parents, pastors, relatives, church members, and marriage counselors serious concern. So many pastors and counselors are already into matchmaking just to ameliorate this situation. It is very common today to see advertisements for spouses in the newspapers, on the internet, and even on television.

Today, there are many websites singles visit in search of the bones of their bones and flesh of their flesh. Many have resigned to fate after a series of fruitless efforts and conclude that they can no longer get a man of their dreams. Many are so desperate and hopeless that they sometimes consider and even try to seduce married men. People are expected to get married between the age of 21 and 25, all other things being equal because of the responsibility of raising their children, while they are still in the young and earning stages of their lives. Unfortunately, today, many are getting married in their mid or late thirties, forties and sometimes at fifty. The issue ought to be addressed because It is not good that some females suffer unnecessary marital delays. The reasons for this marital delay phenomenon are not farfetched: Some are caused by individual behavior while others are self-inflicted and some due to ignorance. Sometimes, all we need is proper positioning of ourselves, so we can become findable. At times, all we need is requisite information. The fact is that marriage requires “Findings,” which is to say that getting a life partner of your choice requires wisdom, patience, prayers, searching, planning, and becoming the kind of person God wants you to be. Besides year, getting a man of your dream demands that you take time to work on yourself. Charlie Shedd, a marriage counselor of great repute said, “Marriage is not about getting the right partner, but you becoming the right partner.” There are things to do to overcome every form of marital delay and get a man of your dream. Sometimes we may discover that we had made mistakes in our choices, no matter how careful or painstaking and prayerful some individuals may be. Sometimes too, their mistakes are as a result of anxieties, carelessness, insensitivity, and lack of regard for counsels., when a mistake has been made. All one needs to do is to think and act fast to correct such mistakes. Most females discover along the line that they have been in a wrong relationship and realizing such on time can help such an individual to focus on a better and more serious relationship. Solomon (2017).

These day’s adult single females who for one reason or the other are single. In Nigeria, the case is not different and cuts across all the local governments. In Rivers State, particularly in Emohua Local Government Area, findings have shown that there is a high delay in marriage amongst the adult female from that local government area, and the parenting styles parents adopted while bringing up the females may have affected them in one way or the other. The emotional intelligence of the female also has an effect or influence on why they are yet to be married. Marital delay among adult females in Emohua is becoming a major challenge as many adult females marry in the late thirties to late forties. Marital delay refers to a situation in which a person who has attained maturity mentally, spiritually financially, and physically is not married probably as a result of parenting styles. Parenting styles have some effect on the marital delay of many adult females. Some singles look at the unhappy marriages that exist all around them and wonder if they can expect any better one if they plan to settle down. Some adult females find it difficult to make some sacrifices, self-denials that are necessary to keep friends and sustain relationships.  Others do not give enough attention to their outward appearance/dressing and some have become so emotionally attached to their parents and find it difficult to break the home ties. Some fear the responsibilities that accompany marriage, caring for the home, and rearing children. Some due to bad parenting styles have unpleasant childhood experiences such as rape or child abuse which has instilled fear in them and make it difficult for them to create a reliable relationship with the opposite sex. Others set a personal standard for themselves concerning who to marry, and this standard when not achieved causes a marital delay which makes men find it difficult to approach them.  Spiritually, there is no specific age for a woman to marry even some age are considered as a product of delay. There are so many reasons why adult females experience marital delay but in the case of this study, the focus will be on parenting styles and emotional intelligence as they relate to marital delay.

The study of human development is centrally concerned with understanding the processes that lead adults to function adequately within their cultures. These skills include an understanding of and adherence to the moral standards, conventional rules, and customs of society. They also include maintaining close relationships with others, developing the skills to work productively, and becoming self-reliant and able to function independently. All of these may be important to successfully rear the next generation. Researchers studying human development have assumed that the family is a particularly important context for developing these competencies, and therefore, they have examined how parents socialize with their children to understand variations in adult outcomes. They have attempted to find associations between the way parents raise their children and children’s social, emotional, and cognitive development. Parents all over the world give birth to children they can instill discipline and good morals into. It is the wish and desire of all parents to the rear and nurtures their children in ways that would be of benefit both to the family and the society at large. When children are born, they are nurtured and groomed according to the way the parents handle them. Some parents bring up their children with kid gloves, while some bring them up with iron hands. Whichever way, nurturing a child is very essential to the growth and development of that child.

Essentially, children tend to become what they are after the formative years of nurturing. It is said, that the way a child is brought up, is the way the child would become. Various homes attribute diverse styles of bringing up their children, parenting styles differ in various homes. Parenting style is a psychological and constructive strategy that parents adopt in rearing their children. Fundamentally, parenting styles are psychological strategies and practices parents adopt in rearing and bringing up their children. The quality of time spent with children is very essential than the quantity of time spent with the children, For instance, a parent can spend the entire afternoon with his or her child but the parent may be engaging in a different activity and not demonstrating interest in the child. Parenting practices are specific behaviors while parenting styles represent broader patterns of parenting practices. There are different theories and opinions on the best ways to rear children as well as different levels of time and effort that parents are willing to invest. Children go through different stages in life, therefore, parents create their parenting styles from a combination of factors that evolve as children begin to develop their personalities.

According to Baumrind (1991), there are authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive parenting styles. Authoritative parenting is identified by high responsiveness to the child as well as high demandingness regarding discipline and socialization. Authoritative parenting occurs when the parent is highly demanding but lacks responsiveness to the child. Contrary to the authoritarian parent, the permissive parent is highly responsive to the child but is also undemanding. Responsiveness is evaluated based on the parents’ ability to recognize the needs of the child and provide support, warmth, and affection.

Children raised by authoritative parents develop self-confidence; they trust that their needs will be met (Baumrind, 1991). Authoritative parenting is fundamentally responsive, warm, and supportive and children raised by authoritative parents are frequently the same children who form secure attachments with their primary caregiver (Doinita & Maria, 2015). On the other hand, authoritarian parents tend to display low self-esteem, anger, aggression, and anxiety, traits that are transmitted to their children. This parenting style severely constrains creativity (Fearon, 2013). Permissive parents are considered lax, inconsistent, and tend to withdraw their love as a way of punishment. Children raised by permissive parents have low self-control and self-reliance (Baumrind, 1991). Both authoritarian and permissive parenting styles are associated with insecurely attached children (avoidant and ambivalent/resistant), a finding that suggests these parenting styles reflect the parents’ inability to self-regulate emotional responses, consequently promoting the construction of more negative self-views in their children (Doinita & Maria, 2015; Karavasilis, Doyle, & Markiewicz, 2003)

Authoritative Parenting encourages independence, sensitivity to the needs of children and maximizes resources to support them, provides interpersonal interactions with children, models effective engagement with others, balances reason and punishment, instills social and cultural values while fostering independence.

Arnolds (2002) stated that children tend to behave in society as they were brought up or reared by their parents. The marital delay among adult females also depends on the way and manner they were brought up. According to Dike (2003), styles of parenting in the home affect their children’s social orientation in the larger society. A child cannot behave contrary to how he or she is nurtured by the parents/guardians. Dike (2003) thinks that children behave according to the pattern of parental leadership styles. For instance, a child who is brought up through an authoritarian way of parenting, will in most cases, exhibit aggression to her suitors, and show an attitude of strong reliance on the authority of the adult members of the society. Also, a child tends to show excellence in knowledge, well informed and directed when he is brought up by the authoritative parenting style, while she could be wayward, rascal, or join the area girls group if she is nurtured by parents who are permissive in their style of parenting.  Some individuals seem never to lose their egocentric attitude entirely, perhaps because of faulty upbringing or because of unusual environmental circumstances (Rice, 2001).

Stone’s (2003) widely used typology describing parenting styles as varying along two completely independent dimensions of demandingness and responsiveness Authoritative parents are both responsive and demanding. They set clear, reasonable standards for responsible behavior that are consistent with children’s developing abilities, are firm in their enforcement, and provide explanations for their positions. They are also kind, warm, and responsive to children’s needs and will negotiate their expectations. Authoritative parents are demanding but not responsive. These parents place high values on obedience to rules, discourage give-and-take between parents and children, and do not consider their child’s needs. Permissive or indulgent parents are responsive but not demanding. These parents are warm and accepting and tolerant of the child’s impulses. They also make few demands on the child for mature behavior, do not use much punishment, and avoid exerting their authority. More recently, permissive parents have been distinguished from rejecting-neglecting parents, who also do not make many demands on their children, primarily because they are disengaged and thus are neither demanding nor responsive (Spoch, 1999).

Authoritative parenting consistently has been associated with a wide range of positive outcomes, including good behavioral patterns, increased competence, autonomy, and self-esteem, more advanced moral development, less deviance, anxiety and depression, and a more well-rounded orientation to the opposite sex (Macobby and Martin 1993).

Permissive parenting typically allows children a great deal of freedom to behave as they see deem fit. Some families use an authoritative parenting style, which includes the communication of warmth, verbal explanations of why things are as they are, moderate limits with reasonable consequences for inappropriate behavior, little or no use of physical punishment, and consistent engagement with the child. These families have a systematic view of life, clearer boundaries, and an understanding of flexible roles.

According to Goleman (1998), emotional intelligence involves the ability of children to exercise self-control, zeal, persistence, and motivation. Here, the ability and capability of children to manage their emotions, is what is known as emotional intelligence. In a related manner, Mayer and Salovey (1997), defined emotional intelligence as a child’s ability to perceive emotions, access and demonstrate emotions, understand emotions, and the idea of emotional knowledge to regulate emotions to promote his or her emotional and intellectual growth.

Emotional intelligence is when an individual can recognize his or her emotions, understand what these emotions are saying and realize how those emotions affect people around him or her (Salovey and Mayer 1996). It also involves one’s perception of others because when one understands how people feel, it will allow one to manage relationships more effectively. Emotional intelligence also refers to the ability and capability of individuals to recognize their own emotions and those of others, discern between them, label them appropriately, and manage them to adapt to situations and environments.

Emotion intelligence is an area of cognitive ability trait and social skills that facilitate interpersonal behavior. (Goleman,1995). Intelligence can be broadly defined as the capacity for goal-oriented adaptive behavior while Emotional intelligence focuses on the aspect of intelligence that governs self-knowledge and social adaptation. It is the ability of individuals to recognize their own emotions and that of others, to discriminate between different feelings and label them appropriately and use this emotional information to guide thinking and behavior (Colman, 2008). It also reflects abilities to connect intelligence, empathy, and emotions to enhance thought and understanding of interpersonal dynamics (Mayer,2008).

The formation and development of emotional intelligence among adult females is an important component in establishing a qualitatively adaptive personality in living conditions of modern life. The importance of emotional intelligence in adult females is the ability to control one’s own emotions and the emotions of others.  However, emotional intelligence provides the capacity to carry out the reasoning in regards to emotions and use them to enhance reasoning. More, specifically emotional intelligence is said to involve the ability to perceive and accurately express emotion, to use emotion to facilitate thought to understand emotions, and to manage emotions for emotional growth (Mayer and Salovey 1997).

Some researchers suggest that Emotional Intelligence can be learned and strengthened while others claim it is an inborn characteristic.  It is based on how to recognize emotions, find their meaning and relationships to reason out a way of solving problems in day to day life. Emotions are the basis for any reaction or behavior that is being displayed in any given situation.

However, emotion seems to rule our daily lives, and decisions are made based on whether we are happy, angry, sad, bored, or frustrated. We get involved in different activities due to what our emotions incite.

In addition to understanding emotions, researchers have tried to identify and classify the different types of emotions. Eckman (1972) suggested six basic emotions that are universal throughout human cultures. They include fear, disgust, anger, suspense, happiness, and sadness. The list also includes other basic emotions like embarrassment, excitement, contempt, shame, pride, satisfaction, and amusement.

Researchers believe that experience of emotions can be highly subjective. While there might be broad labels for certain emotions such as “anger” “sadness” or happiness” the unique experience of these emotions is probably much more multi-dimensional as individuals experience emotions in different forms. People do not always experience “pure” forms of each emotion, but mixed emotions are different events of the situation in our lives are common.

In conclusion the prevalence of marital delay among adult females which has been attributed to their inability to understand their emotions and that of others resulting to these disturbing occurrence and also the influence of Parenting styles on children, Specifically, the girl child because they tend to have emotional tendencies and feelings that if not properly handled can result to the negative trend. It is important to understand that individual behavior is based on the learning processes she is exposed to and is rooted and expressed through emotions. The ability to express and control emotions is essential but more importantly is the ability to understand, interpret, and respond to the emotions of others.  Parenting styles and emotional intelligence also in a tremendous way, affect the marital life of their children., Therefore this study will investigate to what extent do parenting styles and emotional intelligence relate to marital delay among adult females in Emohua Local Government Area of River State.

• STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM.

Parenting styles and emotional intelligence are vital psychological aspects that affect the lives of children. When born, children are reared and nurtured to fit into society and become useful to themselves. The parenting style used in bringing up a child goes a long way in determining how the child would turn out to become in the future. The child’s emotional intelligence is also very crucial while growing up. Various children exhibit various attitudes and characteristics at various times and stages of their life which go a long way in shaping their future. It is widely known that the ordinary single female all over the world like to get married and bear a Man’s name. However, this is not the case. Many single females out there are yet to get married In Nigeria, especially in Emohua Local Government Area of Rivers State, many single females are adults and have not been married. This work, therefore, tends to look at parenting styles and emotional intelligence as they affect the marital delay of adult females in Emohua Local Government Area of Rivers State.

• AIM AND OBJECTIVES OF THE STUDY

This study will aim to investigate how parenting styles and emotional intelligence relate to marital delay among adult females in Emohua local government area of River State.  Specifically, the objectives will be to:-

1. Verify the extent parentings styles independently relate to marital delay among adult females in Emohua Local Government Area of Rivers State.
2. Determine the extent of parenting styles jointly relate to marital delay among adult females in Emohua Local Government Area of Rivers State.
3. Find out the extent of emotional intelligence competencies independently relate to marital delay among adult females in Emohua Local Government Area of Rivers State.
4. Determine the extent emotional intelligence competencies jointly relate to marital delay among adult females in Emohua Local Government Area of Rivers State.
5. Find out the joint relationship between parenting styles, emotional intelligence, and marital delay among adult females in Emohua Local Government Area of Rivers State.

• Research Questions

1. To what extent do parenting styles independently relate to marital delay among adult females in Emohua local government area of Rivers State.
2. To what extent do parenting styles jointly relate to marital delay among adults females in Emohua Local Government Area of Rivers State.
3. To what extent do emotional intelligence competencies independently relate to marital delay among adult females in Emohua Local Government Area of Rivers State.
4. To what extent do emotional intelligence competencies jointly relate to marital delay among adult females in Emohua Local Government Area of Rivers State.
5. To what extent do parenting styles and emotional intelligence jointly relate to marital delay among adult females in Emohua Local Government Area of Rivers State.

• HYPOTHESES.

The following hypotheses formulated at 0.05 level of significance will be tested to guide this study.

1. Parenting styles do not independently have a significant relationship to marital delay among adult females in Emohua Local Government Area of Rivers State.
2. Parenting styles do not jointly have a significant relationship to marital delay among adult females in Emohua Local Government Area of Rivers State.
3. Emotional intelligence competencies do not independently have a significant relationship to marital delay among adult females in Emohua Local Government Area of Rivers State.
4. Emotional intelligence competencies do not jointly have a significant relationship to marital delay among adult females in Emohua Local of Rivers State.
5. There is no significant joint relationship between parenting styles, emotional intelligence, and marital delay among adult females in Emohua Local government Area of Rivers State.

• SIGNIFICANCE OF THE STUDY.

The finding of this study will be of immense significance to adult females, parents, and future researchers. The adult females in Emohua local government will be able to benefit from the study because it will help them to find ways of balancing the parenting styles they were brought up with and their emotional intelligence as regards their relationship with the opposite sex and it will also help them to know areas they need to improve on in their altitudes which in one way or the other is chasing intending suitors away from them and as a result leads to their delay in getting married.

The result of the study will also contribute knowledge to parents and they will be aware of the influence of bad parenting to their daughters if they are not properly raising it may delay them at home and also delay their chances of getting married on time.

The finding of this study will also contribute to the improvement in creating awareness among parents and adult females on the importance of good parenting styles and emotional interest in building a marriageable behavior.

The finding of this work will add to the existing literature on parenting styles and emotional intelligence. Future researchers will be able to have handy materials to refer to studies that are related to parenting styles and emotional intelligence of adult females.

• DELIMITATION OF THE STUDY

The study will be carried out in five communities in Emohua Local Government Area of River State, Nigeria. the independent variables of the study are: parenting styles and emotional intelligence, while the dependent variable will be marital delay among adult females, these variables were studied because until this time several studies on parenting styles and emotional intelligence have not focused on marital dealy, it is therefore important to investigate marital delay with regards to parenting styles and emotional intelligence. The subject for the study will be adult females in the five communities in Emohua Local Government Area of River State, Nigeria.

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